M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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