But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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