you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
