Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Screwed.edu
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
