If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
