Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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