What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
