it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
