whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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