I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
