I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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