I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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