I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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