For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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