where am i from again
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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