george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
