speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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