ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
