ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
