I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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