Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
