i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
