So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize