And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize