i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my phone needs a breathalizer
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And then my night got REAL pukey
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
