i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
