i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
