hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize