Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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