oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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