Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
