you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
