someone owes me an orgasm
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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