Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
