ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
