I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
