if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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