dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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