I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
did i just pee glitter
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
