Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
