Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
