I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so much tequila, so little girl.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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