Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
tequila makes me forget i have legs
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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