Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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