Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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