FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
