This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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