We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I had to cum in my sink.
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