Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.