what day is it and did you see me today?
time to smoke my breakfast
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
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No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.