The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.