the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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