I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
