So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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