Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
