who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
