What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
