im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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