just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
