Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
