I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
