We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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