sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
