Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
