just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize