How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
